"Pour elle"

"Pour elle"

- "Aucun homme ne vaut tes larmes, mais une fois que vous en trouviez un qui est, il ne vous fera pas pleurer» -
 Inconnu
- "Chaque chose que Dieu crée est belle, et vous êtes l'une des créations de Dieu» -
 Zack Oughriss

            Les relations infructueuses sont la chose la plus inquiétante dans notre vie. Il ya tellement de facteurs qui pourraient facilement éliminer votre relation avec votre autre significatif, si vous ne payez pas attention à eux. Il a toujours n'importe comment commencer. Ce qui a commencé bien souvent se termine bien. Je vous écris ceci en utilisant un langage simple et des exemples réels que certaines personnes et je suis passé. Il est très important de donner à votre vie une grande valeur et ont une attitude inébranlable positif.

             Tout d'abord, je vous suggère de trouver votre but dans la vie. Sens-vous poser des questions sur ce qui est important pour vous et ce qui vous ferait plaisir parfait individuelle. Beaucoup de gens ne savent pas quel est le but de leur vie, ils sont conduits par l'infirmité de vie. Tout n'est que temporaire dans la vie, même le bonheur, nous blâmons nos échecs sur notre amour une fois et nous préférons fuir plutôt que de les affronter. Vous devriez passer une grande quantité de temps à explorer et découvrir vous-même. Définissez vos objectifs personnels avant de commencer à penser à une rencontre ou se marier. L'un des facteurs qui contribuent à endommager votre relation, c'est quand vous n'avez pas d'objectifs personnels dans la vie. Ne pas attendre jusqu'à ce que votre le rencontrer et commencer à réfléchir à ce que vous allez faire dans votre vie. Avoir des objectifs et être indépendant.

            L'amour est la plus belle chose, mais parfois il peut être chagrin. Il n'y a rien qui puisse garantir une relation de longue durée, et il n'y a rien de tel que "Comment ne pas tomber amoureux facilement ou comment ne pas tomber dans l'amour." Si l'amour ne vient pas naturellement, il n'est pas l'amour. C'est ce que j'appelle la toxicomanie, tout comme le tabagisme. Tomber en amour est imprévisible et inévitable, mais vous n'avez pas à être l'amour-phobie. Il ya certaines choses que vous voudrez peut-être éviter de faire comme le tatouage son nom, fixés d'un individu anneau ton juste pour lui, et quelques autres trucs qui serait toujours vous rappeler de lui. Cependant, je ne dis pas que vous ne devriez pas faire ces choses du tout, mais ce que j'essaie de dire, c'est au moins attendre jusqu'à ce qu'il gagne ton respect et la confiance.

            L'amour, le lendemain, s'il vous arrive d'être rompu dur, les premières choses que vous devez faire est de commencer à penser "positif" et toujours se rappeler que ce n'est pas la fin du monde. Tout ce que nous faire une dépression dans la vie a un sens et une grande expérience derrière elle. Les pensées négatives ne fera qu'empirer les choses. Essayez d'en parler avec vos amis et votre famille et éviter de parler à des gens négatifs. Enfin, essayer d'apprendre de vos erreurs et d'essayer de faire de votre prochaine relation réussie.

            Avant de commencer la recherche de "M. Droit ", vous devez être« Mme Droit. "Focus sur vous-même et la façon d'améliorer votre style de vie. La première chose que la plupart des hommes observer lorsque la voir une femme est son apparence physique. Méprisent le fait que les hommes peuvent être attirés par la personnalité d'une femme, si vous n'êtes pas suffisamment attractif pour attirer leur attention, ils ne sont souvent pas vous approcher pour en apprendre davantage sur votre personnalité. Vous n'avez pas besoin d'être super modèle, je crois que chaque femme est belle si elle ne le pense pas. Nous avons tous quelque chose que nous aimons nous-mêmes, essayez de le découvrir et l'utiliser comme un outil pour construire votre confiance. Pensez à ce qui vous offrez si le sexe n'avait jamais existé? Assurez-vous que votre corps mental qui l'attire pas sexuellement. Vous devez vous assurer qu'il respecte votre corps et perçoit-delà du sexe. Parfois, câlins peut être plus agréable que le sexe. Tout simplement parce que votre corps a acquis une valeur qui lui a donné le respect et fait mystérieux.
         
            Les émotions sont très difficiles à contrôler simplement parce que plus de contrôler notre esprit et de logique. L'amour peut facilement aveugler votre perspicacité qui provoque souvent à ignorer votre bon sens. Essayez d'équilibrer vos émotions avec lui signifie que vous n'avez pas montrer trop de soins et d'affection sauf si vous recevez la même quantité de soins que vous donnez. Ne jamais baser votre décision sur vos émotions, peu importe combien ça fait mal. Vous devez avoir des frontières et des limites; vous ne pouvez pas avaler tout ce qu'il fait. Rappelez-vous que l'agression aurait fait la seule chose compliquée. Essayez de répondre à ce que vous n'avez pas aimé ce qui s'est fait de mal d'une manière intellectuelle légère. Toutefois, s'il n'a jamais appris de ses erreurs et traverse vos limites, vous devez montrer les conséquences sinon il va continuer à faire ce qu'il fait. Si il triche sur vous ou vous maltraite, cela signifie simplement qu'il ne mérite pas vous, ni votre temps. En acceptant d'être brisé le cœur ou humilié cela ne vous mènera nulle part. Vous ne souffrent que de la vie malheureuse. Si nous regardons la vie sous le bon angle, il nous sera facile de nous, tout comme pour compliquer les choses. 1 1-2 facile! Signification je vous aime Je vous aime + = nous heureux! Essayez de ne pas tomber sous Je vous aime + Je ne suis pas sûr Confusion =!

            Qu'est-ce qui est tout simplement vivants relations "excitation"


Faites-lui que vous manquez. Appels et SMS chaque heure vous fait paraître arrogant et disponible 24/7. "Ne pas garder textos, à moins qu'il répond avec une déclaration et une question" exemple:
            Vous: Salut bébé! Comment êtes-vous?
            Lui: hey! Je vais bien.
Si vous voyez ceci, fais pas le texte jusqu'à ce qu'il le fasse. Cela ne signifie pas que vous n'aurez jamais l'appeler, mais il suffit de montrer que vous méritez d'être demandé "comment vas-tu" aussi.

            Drame free, jeunes filles intelligentes sont sans drame. Essayez d'être l'un d'eux. Les gars n'aiment pas les filles Nagy. Argumenter que sur des sujets très importants afin qu'il apprenne que lorsque vous plaidez, cela ne signifie pas que vous êtes en train de parler ou de bluffer. Baser votre relation sur la confiance et le respect. S'il ne vous respecte pas, le jeter et de le jeter dans la poubelle la plus proche.
              "Ne pas essayer de réparer un mec, parce que les gars ne peuvent pas être corrigés. Nous apprenons la morale quand nous sommes enfants de ne pas lorsque nous sommes sur le point de se marier. "

               Six gars paquets sont les plus susceptibles d'être retardé. Leurs cerveaux sont contrôlés par leur pénis. Si un gars se vante trop de son corps, cela signifie souvent que c'est tout ce qu'il a à offrir. Donc, ne soyez pas trop excités quand vous voyez un mec mignon chaud avec un joli corps. Toujours regarder au-delà et de vous donner respecte donc vous l'obtenir à partir d'autres. Nous voyons souvent un gars agréable à regarder sortir avec une fille moche ou vice versa, ce qui signifie que, parfois, la beauté ne signifie pas tout. Simple personne éduquée est bien mieux que perdant cheveux hérissés.
             
            Activités intérieures sont plus fréquentes chez les gars qui préfèrent le sexe sur le fond. Si le sexe prend plus que 25% dans toute relation, il est plus probable que cela soit un ami des prestations avec un titre faux appelée «copain et copine". S'il ne vous sortir et passer du temps de qualité avec vous qui n'avez pas à être un dîner de fantaisie ou d'un film, juste une belle promenade significative dans le parc ou se détendre au café pour avoir une conversation agréable peut valoir une beaucoup. Il est très important de trouver des activités qui vous appréciez tous les deux pour que vous ayez une relation amusante.

               Considérez-vous comme un morceau de diamant. Vous devez avoir le respect de soi. Ne jamais être pas cher! Naturellement, les hommes vont après féminine même dans le monde animal. Si vous restez avec cette analogie vous sera accordé respect et une relation précieuse. «Ne jamais être une option." N'allez pas après une période de gars. Même si il est la créature la plus belle sur la terre, juste faire semblant que vous n'avez pas le voir, il va se tuer.
              Il n'y a rien dans ce monde comme «Je ne sais pas ce que je veux". Mes deux mois neveu sait ce qu'il veut, "lait" si un homme grandi de le dire, c'est juste "conneries". Si une personne ne sait pas ce qu'il veut, il n'est pas possible dans l'enfer, il vous rendrait heureux. Quand un gars te dit "Je ne sais pas ce que je veux" juste à pied parce qu'il ne veut pas que vous, il ne le sait pas, donc ne jamais perdre votre temps à attendre pour lui de prendre son parti.
           La communication est très important, quand on parle de communication dans une relation, ils pensent souvent sur la façon de communiquer avec l'autre significatif clairement et intelligemment. Ce que je veux dire ici par la communication est au-delà. Nous avons parfois peur ou peur de dire «l'horrible vérité», surtout pour une personne que nous aimons. Ce produit habituellement dans les premières semaines d'une relation. Dites à votre ami que vous n'aimez pas chez lui. Si vous estimez qu'il est offensant, essayez de le dire d'une manière douce. S'il la bouche pue ne pas le garder. Ceci est juste un exemple. Si vous vous sentez qu'il fait quelque chose que vous n'aimez pas, dites-lui franchement.
              Sex o la première date n'est tout simplement pas en bonne santé. Les gars ont une puce dans leur cerveau qui leur dit: «Si une fille dort avec vous sur la première date, cela signifie qu'elle le fait avec tout le monde." Les gars ne le vois pas comme étant scarifier ou romantique. Nous venons de ça et ne pensent pas à vous sérieusement. Et le plus probable qu'un gars qui a couché avec vous sur la première date sera très probablement s'en vanter et dire à ses amis comment ça s'est passé avec plus de détails.
           
            Pull-Pull, quand vous vous sentez qu'il vous a ignorant, commencez à tirer immédiatement. Ne courez pas après lui, n'est tout simplement pas aller travailler. Minimiser parler et envoyer des SMS et je peux vous garantir qu'il viendra courir après vous. Remarque: quand il est de retour arrêtez de tirer loin sinon il va quitter sur vous.

            Enfin, je veux que tu arrêtes de penser pour un moment. Ignorer toutes les pensées négatives telles que «Que faire si ..., je crois qu'il m'aime, je vais le perdre ...." Just chill-out
S'il ne le fait pas travailler dur pour gagner il vous suffit de l'oublier. Donnez votre 50% et un peu de recul.

Dating 101 For Her

“For her”

–“No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry” –

 Unknown

– “Every single thing that God creates is beautiful, and you are one of God’s creations” –

Zack Oughriss

            Unsuccessful Relationships are the most disturbing thing in our life. There are so many factors that would easily eradicate your relationship with your significant other if you don’t pay close attention to them. It always matter how you start. What started right often ends right. I am writing this using simple language and using true examples that some people and I went through. It is very important to give your life a great value and have an unshakable positive attitude.

             Firstly, I would suggest to you to find your purpose in life. Meaning—ask yourself about what is important to you and what would make you perfect happy individual. Lot of people don’t know what is the purpose of their lives, they are being driven by the infirmity of life. Everything is just temporary in this life, even happiness—we blame our failures on our love once and we prefer to escape rather than face them. You should spend a great amount of time exploring and discovering yourself. Set your personal goals before you start thinking about dating or getting married. One of the factors that contribute in damaging your relationship is when you don’t have personal goals in life.  Don’t wait until your meet him and then start thinking about what you’re going to do in your life. Have goals and be independent.  

            Love is the most beautiful thing, but sometimes it can be sorrow. There is nothing that would guarantee a long lasting relationship, and there is nothing such as “How to not fall in love easily or how not to fall in love.”  If love doesn’t come naturally, it is not love. I call it addiction just like smoking.  Falling in love is unpredictable and unavoidable; however, you don’t have to be love-phobia. There are some things that you might want to avoid doing such as tattooing his name, set an individual ring-tone just for him, and some other stuff that would always remind you of him. However, I am not saying you should not do this things at all, but what I am trying to say is at least wait until he earns your respect and trust.

            Love, the aftermath, if you happen to be broken hard, the first things you must do is start thinking “Positive” and always remember that it is not the end of the world. Everything we go trough in life has a great meaning and experience behind it. Negative thoughts will only make it worse. Try to talk it out with your friends and family and avoid talking to negative people. Finally, try to learn from your mistakes and try to make your next relationship successful.     

            Before starting looking for “Mr. Right” you need to be “Ms. Right.” Focus on yourself and how to improve your life style. The first thing most men observe when the see a women is physical appearance. Despise the fact that men can be attracted by a woman’s personality, if you are not attractive enough to get their attention; they often won’t approach you to learn about your personality. You don’t have to be super model; I believe that every woman is beautiful unless she doesn’t think so.  We all have something that we like about ourselves, try to discover it and use it as a tool to build your confident. Think about what would you offer if sex had never existed?  Make sure that your body attracts him mentally not sexually. You need to ensure that he respects your body and perceives beyond sex. Sometimes cuddling can be more pleasurable than sex. Simply because your body has earned a value that gave it respect and made it mysterious. 

           

            Emotions are very hard to control simply because it over control our mind and logic. Love can easily blind your insight which often causes you to ignore your common sense. Try to balance your emotions with him meaning you don't show too much care and affection unless you receive the same amount of caring that you give. Never base your decision on you emotions no matter how much it hurts. You must have boundaries and limitations; you can’t just swallow everything that he does. Remember that aggression would only makes thing complicated. Try to address what you didn’t like about what has done wrong in a mild intellectual way. However, if he never learned from his mistakes and crosses your boundaries, you must show consequences otherwise he will keep doing what he's doing. If he cheats on you or mistreats you, it simply means that he doesn’t deserve you nor your time. Accepting to be broken heart or humiliated it would not get you anywhere. You would just suffer from unhappy life. If we look at life from the right perspective, we will find it easy we just like to complicate it. 1+1-2 easy! Meaning I like you + I like you = us happy! Try not to fall under   I like you + I’m not sure = Confusion!

            What keeps relationships alive is simply “Excitement”

Make him miss you. Calling and texting every single hour makes you look pushy and available 24/7.  “Don’t keep texting him, unless he responds with a statement and a question” example:

            You: Hi baby! How are you?

            Him: hey! I’m fine.

If you see this, don’t text him back until he does so. It doesn’t mean that you will never call him, but you just need to show that you deserve to be asked “how are you” too.

            Drama free, smart girls are drama free. Try to be one of them. Guys don't like Nagy girls. Argue only on very important subjects so he would learn that when you are arguing, it doesn't mean that you are just talking or bluffing. Base your relationship on trust and respect. If he doesn't respect you, dump him and throw him in the closest trash can.

              “Don't try to fix a guy, because guys can not be fixed. We learn morals when we are kids not when we are about to get married.” 

               Six pack guys are most likely to be retarded. Their brains are being controlled by their penises. If a guy brags too much about his body, it often means that this is all he's got to offer. So don’t get too excited when you see a cute hot guy with a nice body. Always look beyond that and give yourself respect so you would get it from others. We often see a nice looking guy dating a bad looking girl or vice versa—that means that sometimes beauty doesn’t mean everything. Simple educated person is way better that spiky hair loser.
               

            Indoor activities are most common among guys who prefer sex over substance. If sex takes more that 25% in any relationship, it is more likely to be just a friend with benefits with a fake title called “boyfriend and girlfriend”. If he doesn't take you out and spend some quality time with you which don’t have to be a fancy dinner or movie, just a nice meaningful walk at the park or chill at the coffee shop to have a nice talk can worth a lot. It is very important to find some activities which you both enjoy so you would have an amusing relationship.

               Consider yourself a piece of diamond. You must have self-respect. Don’t ever be cheap! Naturally, males go after female even in the animal world. If you stick with this analogy you will be granted respect and a valuable relationship. “Don’t never be an option.” Do not go after a guy period. Even if he's the most beautiful creature in earth, just pretend that you didn't see him he'll shoot himself.

              There is nothing in this world such as “I don't know what I want”. My two months old nephew knows what he wants, "Milk" so for a grown up man to say it, it’s just “bullshit”. If a person doesn't know what he wants, there is no way in Hell he would make you happy. When a guy tells you “I don't know what I want" just walk away because he doesn't want you he just doesn't know it; so don’t never waste your time waiting for him to make up his mind.

           Communication is very important, when people talk about communication in a relationship they often think about how to communicate with the significant other clearly and intelligently. What I mean here by communication is beyond that. We sometimes fear or shy away to tell “the ugly truth” especially to a person whom we love. This usually happen in the first few weeks of a relationship. Tell your boyfriend whatever you don't like about him.  If you feel that it is offensive, try to say it in a mild way. If he's mouth stinks don't keep it. This is just an example. If you feel that he does something that you don't like, frankly tell him.

              Sex o the first date is just not healthy. Guys have a chip in their brain that tells them “If a girl sleeps with you on the first date it means she does it with everyone.” Guys don't see it as scarify or being romantic. We just like it and don't think about you seriously. And most likely that a guy who slept with you on the first date will most likely brag about it and tell his friends how it went with details. 

             

            Pull-Pull, when you feel that he’s ignoring you, start pulling away immediately. Do not run after him; is just not going to work. Minimize talking and texting and I will guarantee you that he will come running after you. Note: when he’s back stop pulling away otherwise he will quit on you.

            Finally, I want you to stop thinking for a moment. Ignore all negative thoughts such as “What if…, I think he loves me, I’m going to lose him….” Just chill-out

If he doesn’t work hard to earn you just forget it. Give your 50% and step back.

My Papa's Waltz (Lost Between Love and Abuse)

Zack Oughriss
Apr. 25, 11

Lost Between Love and Abuse

        Since the time of Adam and Eve, parents have played a major role in upbringing children and reproducing more generations. In most societies, the father has been the backbone of the family and played a major role in providing support and stability to the family. Yet, the role of the father differs from a family to another. While some fathers focus only on feeding and educating their children, others focus on every aspect of their children‟s lives. The father‟s leadership often drives the children to have a close relationship with the father. Sons often see the father as their role model and build a father-son relationship. Yet, the father-son relationship can be either weak or strong depends on the father‟s concept of parenthood. The American poet Theodore Roethke (1908-1963) describes the relationship between him and his father through his poem “My Papa‟s Waltz.” Theodore reveals his painful memories of his difficult childhood in a critical age when many children wouldn‟t ask for anything more than the love of their parents. Professor Grant T. Smith “Theodore Roethke's „My Papa's Waltz‟: A Reader's Response”, explains how his students value the father-son relationship in Theodore‟ poem, he believes that “Their primary argument that this poem depicts a harsh father-son relationship was that the description of the dancing is violent.” Conversely, some readers disagree with this statement and think that the father-son relationship on Theodore‟s poem in fact unleashes a cohesive bond between the father and his son. Theodore‟s poem “My Papa‟s Waltz” vividly reflects a picture of child abuse through the child‟s voice.
           Theodore's poem caught the attention of a remarkable number of scholars, researchers and individual readers who participated in interpreting and analyzing it. This poem is very controversial in term of its meaning, and most readers find its title very intriguing. In fact some believe that the “Waltz dance” reflect a happy and joyful memories in the eyes of the child. According to McKenna John on his revisions and the tone of “My Papa‟s Waltz,” Theodor had a problem choosing the title “Roethke struggled with two choices: "Waltz/Dance" and Papa/Father.” I believe that if Theodor had chosen “My Father Dance” as a title, it would have created more confusion to the reader. The meaning of the word “Dance” is very broad and it doesn‟t elicit any specific picture in the readers‟ minds. On the other hand, the word “waltz” clearly illustrates a picture of a specific dance which performed by two people in a close position wrapping arms around each other. Considering the size of the boy, it was quite hard for him to perform the dance with his father. Apparently, the father was forcing his son to dance with him which had put lot of pressure on the little boy. The main reason why Theodore choses to title his poem “My papa‟s waltz” instead of “My papa‟s dance” is because he felt that any other dance would have been easier for him to perform than the waltz.
            The complexity of Theodore‟s poem and its profound sound makes most readers straggle distinguishing between the opposite interpretations of the poem. The reader‟s personal experience has a great impact on interpreting the poem. According to McKenna, this poem speaks to a wide audience and its meaning depends on the experience of the reader. In this context, McKenna claims that “Readers of this poem often hold quite contradictory interpretations of it, depending on what personal experience they filter it through.” It cannot be denied that the reader‟s life experience would play a huge role on interpreting the poem, for instance, a person who had suffered from a difficult childhood dealing with an abusive father would habitually reminiscence all his or her bad memories through the poem and perceive the father as an abusive, Whereas a person who had a joyful childhood and caring father would presumably see the poem as a joyful memory. I agree with McKenna‟s idea of the relationship between the reader‟s personal experience and the content of the poem. To support this idea, Professor Smith found some striking notions about the poem‟s interpretation and stated it on the following lines:
            “As reader-response critics have long noted, opening up discussions of a poem to accommodate multiple interpretations can reveal striking things about how individual readers' assumptions and cultural positions affect their understanding of what they read.”
Hence, it is important to recognize the impact of the social and the psychological influence on a person‟s position and outlook of the poem. But to fairly analyze the poem a reader should have a neutral objective point of view.
           Is this poem reflecting a child abuse or a drunken father who was deeply loved by his son? This question troubled most of the readers. Some of them had a problem answering this question fearing to misinterpret the poem. My first reaction when I read the poem was unpredictable and I immediately formed a positive impression; perhaps because I haven‟t experienced living with an alcoholic and abusive father. When I read the title, for a moment I thought that the way the son was treated was a father‟s ritual which was accepted by the son and the society on that era. Professor Smith mentioned that he was shocked to learn that his students saw the poem as describing a systematic child-abuse. He stated: “I was shocked to find that most
of my students, on the other hand, had an angry and vehement reaction against a poem that they saw as describing systematic child-abuse.” Apparently, Professor Smith was shocked because he was not expecting his student‟s negative reaction to the poem. He added: “I was so surprised by this unexpected understanding of the poem that without even mentioning my reading, I asked to hear the evidence for theirs”. From looking at the poem from the student s‟ point of view, we can conclude that the students imagined themselves as the abused child perhaps because of their age and affection. On the other hand, if we look at the poem from the professor point of view, we notice the opposite. Perhaps the professor might have been a father at that time and had pictured himself as Theodor‟s father dancing with his son. It is clear that the nature and state of mind of the reader play a significant part in interpreting the poem.
           When I read the first two lines of the poem, “The whiskey on your breath; could make a small boy dizzy”, I was intrigued by the choice of the words Theodor used on his poem, for example, the word “whiskey” often symbolizes the bohemian life style. It is unclear why Theodore used the word “whiskey” and why he didn‟t use an alternative word to describe alcohol. Did Theodor‟s father used to buy expensive alcohol such as whiskey? Or maybe there is another reason behind why Theodor used the word whiskey. In both ways, the presence of alcohol is associated with violence. Booby Fong in his essay “Roethke's `My Papa's Waltz,'” mentioned how his students described the “whiskey” “For these students, alcohol is invariably associated with violence, and the mention of whiskey on the breath calls to mind incidents when their fathers came home drunk and "romped" with the family.” This means that violence occur within Theodor‟s family as a result of the drunken father. Additionally, we find the same response from Professor Smith‟s students about violence and alcohol. “Considering my students' sense that violence is being done to the son in this poem thus modifies my own reading in a way that I think makes it more compelling” Fong and Smith‟s students hold the same point of view and believe of the poem unlike their professors who followed a different stream on the poem.
           As we go deeper inside the poem, we get to witness more aspects and signs of child-abuse. According to Professor Smith, the word “romped” in the second stanza signified a positive, joyful experience; moreover it holds a positive connotation which strongly shows the healthy relationship between the father and his son. However, I suggest that in spite of the meaning of the word “romped”, the boy seemed to be terrified by his father. Fong says: “all the more terrible because the boy is frightened and hurt by the father, even in play. “We romped," the poet says, but the romp is a dizzying succession of painful glimpses”. There is another play that exhibits more tension between the father and his son. For instance, the chaos in the kitchen with the pans falling on the floor reveals to us that romping was not peaceful which even made the mother to get angry. Fong also mentioned the state of the chaos made by the father “the house is shaking, the mother is frowning, the father's hand is scarred by violence, every misstep in the dance scrapes the father's belt buckle painfully across the boy's ear, and the boy's head is being pounded by that huge, hard palm. It is very interesting to note how Fong describes the situation when the father was romping with his son. “The house is shaking” is very strong metaphor which is close to describing an earthquake. The son was overwhelmed with the dance and admitted that it was not easy “Such waltzing was not easy.” I strongly believe that even if the father‟s waltz dance with his son was out of love, the dance would not be so hard for the boy and also the father would have been very careful dancing with his son.
            The first two lines on the stanza,” We romped until the pans; Slid from the kitchen shelf;” portrays another picture that is beyond the son‟s complains about his abusive father. The speaker
also describes on these two lines the financial situation of his family. Apparently, Theodore‟s family lived in a small house with a quite small kitchen. The lack of space in the house caused the pans to fall from the kitchen shelf. Thus we can conclude that Theodor‟s father fails to support his family financially although, he was a hardworking man. Perhaps alcohol took all his money and attention. There is another important element which Theodore mentioned on his poem to reveal some crucial details about his mother‟s disapproval. “My mother's countenance; could not unfrown itself.” McKenna says that “Roethke portrays the mother's view of events as sternly disapproving, highlighted by the change from "unscrew" to "unfrown." It is clear that Theodor and his mother were in a state of disapproval. McKenna, calls the poem “The poem of terror” and he also describes the chaotic situation caused by the drunken father “the mother is frowning; the father's hand is scarred by violence.” Theodor could have used more words which hold a positive connotation to give the readers a sense of happy joyful experience. Yet Theodore used a complex language not to confuse the reader, but perhaps to see if we, as readers would be able to distinguish between good and bad. We can clearly see the abuse and violence not only from the point of view of the son, but also from different readers and scholar‟s perspective.
            The line “You beat time on my head” portrays the child‟s courage and illustrates how powerfully Theodore speaks to his father through his poem using the second person “You.” Talking directly to his father Theodore clearly told his father you have inflicted pain on me. The expression “beat time on my head” has a significant meaning which carries a negative tone to it and demonstrates the son‟s painful experience. McKenna says “Certainly, "beat" is a word nearly all respondents refer to when giving the texture of the poem a negative spin.” It is very interesting to note the way Theodor highlights the word beat to show his father‟s abusiveness.
The time here is a significant element because it indicates the prolong period of time which the dad has been controlling and beating his son. Theodore‟s father was a hardworking man despite his aggressiveness and mistreatment to his son. The line “With a palm caked hard by dirt,” demonstrates how the father‟s palm was covered with dirt perhaps he was working at a farm. This line also means that the father didn't take his time to clean up or rest before waltzing with his son. Smith imagined the scene and satiated on the following lines:
“A hard-working father comes home after a long day just in time for his son's bedtime. He doesn't even take time to clean up (he still has "a palm caked hard by dirt") because he wants to spend their few minutes together doing something really fun. So, he dances his son around the little house.”
Another way of viewing this scene is to capture the mother‟s state of mind. The mother seemed to be unhappy and in disapproval of what was happening to her son at that moment. McKenna claimed that the poem has a negative texture as he says: “The poem ends with a primarily negative texture portraying a "drunken father, angry mother, and desperate child" it is true that these three states of minds in the poem reflects a sense of abuse from the father and disapproval from the mother. Therefore, child abuse is recognizable within Theodore‟s poem.
             My papa‟s waltz poem clearly demonstrates a vivid picture about a father who lost himself in alcohol and madness. Theodore expresses his feeling and thoughts recalling his painful childhood memories through his poem. The complexity of “My papa‟s waltz” on its tone and word choice uses made it harder on most of the readers to give a clear solid interpretation. The question which most readers often ask when reading this poem is “Is this poem reflecting a child abuse or a son‟s love to his father?” depending on the reader‟s social and personal experience, this question has more than one answer. I strongly believe that Theodore's poem
certainly reflects a painful childhood experience of physical and physiological abuse. Theodore‟s poem is a clear definition of violence and child mistreatment.

                                                                        Work cited

Fong, Bobby. "Roethke's `My Papa's Waltz'." College Literature 17.1 (1990): 78. MasterFILE Premier. EBSCO. Web. 9 Apr. 2011.
McKenna, John J. "Roethke's Revisions and the Tone of 'My Papa's Waltz'." ANQ: A Quarterly Journal of Short Articles, Notes, and Reviews 11.2 (1998): 34-38. MLA International Bibliography. EBSCO. Web. 8 Apr. 2011.
Roethke, Theodore. “My Papa‟s Waltz.” The Collected Poems of Theodore Roethke. New York:
Anchor Books, 1975. 43.
Viterbo University. Theodore Roethke's "My Papa's Waltz": A Reader's Response 30 Jan. 2007 <http://www.viterbo.edu/personalpages/faculty/GSmith/TheodoreRoethke.html>